🌿 Mixed-Up Advice From A Wise Mother 🌿
Millie always spoke what she thought, but didn’t always think before she spoke. She had an amusing way of blending phrases together by accident, making something new. Then she’d slip them into a stream of emotionally-charged stream words.
Whenever I caught one, I’d interrupt her to tell her about it. This would set us off into uncontrollable giggles, instantly diffusing any tension in the air. Then I’d hurry to record it in my little book.
I had no idea I’d later weave these sayings into a book about my mother’s life called Out of the Attic.
Some call these blended sayings “malapropisms,” or depending on the nuance, “malopropisms.” But I prefer to call them”Milliepropisms.”
P.S. By the way, if anyone hears me mix up phrases—which occasionally does happen—don’t be surprised. The tree doesn’t fall far from the forest! 🤣
My Collection of “Milliepropisms:”
Frothing at the bit.
You’re barking up the wrong flag pole.
She’s got him wrapped around her shoe strings.
I’m so mad I could spit rust.
Oh gosh Mom, stop it already. 🤣
You can’t let spilt water over the damn worry you.
That must have been petrifying.
That doesn’t make a hill of beans sense.
We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
A little illegal, don’t you think? 🤣
You do things that tick my trigger too.
It’s like drawing things out of a straw hat.
When we get water, we’ll be cooking with steam.
Stop the Fort!
You have a problem–I can’t quite put my foot on it.
I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed.
You can do that? 🤣
Everything’s gonna fall down around our ears.
You can’t change an old horse.
You better make sure you have eggs in your basket before you buy hens.
Watch out you don’t pay out of your nose.
Pamela, you have to work on not having so much overhang.
No wonder it took me so long to get my business plan in order! 🤣
Let’s just wait and see where the cookie crumbles.
You’ll be walking on crushed eggs if you do that.
I think she’s lying teeth, nail, and hooks.
You just have to let a dead dog lie.
What if the dog is on the side of the road, Mom? 🤣
Water under a duck’s back.
I’m pooped to the gills.
I’ve been keeping my ears peeled.
They’ll hang you at the stake.
A person can say those things until they are black and blue in the face.
Don’t bother me! I’m trying to get some law and order in this place.
A dog that you get at the Pond might not a good one.
Why not, Mom? 🤣
Nobody knew him from beans.
I think you overbarreled the garbage man.
It’s like we’re all living in a yellow submarine.
She’s gone bologna.
Free foot and fancy free.
We’re off to see the glit and glutter of the city.
Wow, that’s enough to swim a horse.
Gifts of the Magi were: Frankenstein, Mirth, and Incense.
What? What did you just say, Mom? 🤣
Used in Millie’s Memoir:
-In order of appearance-
This family is a fruit basket.
Don’t let hair grow under your feet.
He sounds like he has a cabbage in his mouth.
It’s no time to let hair grow under your feet.
Did a cat bite your tongue?
I’m gonna be a banana case.
Something is fishy in Denmark.
First one there is a rotten egg.
It gets me right in the gills.
Clear as a button.
What if the other shoe will kick?
You’re cutting off more than you can chew.
It’s time to get this ball on the road.
He’s an angel in sheep’s clothing.
I feel like the enemy has a pigeonhole.
People swallow that stuff sink, line, and hooker!
Look at that Panhandle mustache!
It ain’t over till the fat lady stops singing.
I would’ve given my eyecandy for a family like this.
And my all-time favorite:
(Something she said to my dad when he was stressed out)
“You’re running around like an Indian with your head chopped off!”
Sorry to any Native Americans. Or chickens. Truly, no offense intended! 🤣
Do you have a loved one who unintentionally says funny things, too? Comment below and let’s share in the joy of these innocent verbal Faux pas!